5 Funny But Proven Ways To Escape SARS Trouble In Nigeria

When the SARS tactical unit was created to deal with the issue of rampant armed robbery in Nigeria, little did our fathers know that one day this same agency would lead to the deaths of too many of their children.

In present-day Nigeria, avoiding men of the SARS force is a life-saving skill that every young adult has to learn.

Gone are the days of ‘if hunger no kill me, I go still make am’, today even if you find a way to beat the poverty and hunger that plagues the ‘AUDIO-GIANT of Africa, Sars officials will leave you ‘Twice As Dead’ for owning something as simple as an iPhone.

  1. Avoid Getting Birthed Into A Poor Family

The class-system in Nigeria is deplorable, it is why you never hear about Sars officials on Arewa Twitter. Once you’re born into the lower class in this country, you’re done for because sars officials will take you for a ride without any thought that you might be someone’s son or daughter.



  1. Avoid ‘Under-Copping’ Cars

If you eventually find a way to beat poverty as a young man, please don’t be average rich because these animals will take you for a ride. While there are cases of young men in average cars such as a Toyota getting exploited, when you pull up in a Toyota Prado just like a senator does, Sars go fear to stop you no worry.


  1. Clean Up Your Tattoos

Now, I also love tattoos and may get some soon but maybe I’ll just wait for them to finally get Sars off Nigerian roads. Because to those mostly illiterate ex-convicts, that’s an opportunity to harass you.


  1. Shave Off Your Dreads And Cop The Skodo Hairstyle

Another thing that can make you an easy target for these trigger happy ex-cons is your dreads. They obviously just want a chance to victimize you and will use that as an opportunity.


  1. PETITION BUHARI TO STOP PUTTING GUNS IN THE HANDS OF EX-CONVICTSThe most baffling thing I saw this year was the requirement for recruitment into the SARS, in clear words ‘You Must Be An Ex-Convict’. Why on earth is a government comfortable with asking hardened criminals who have gone through Nigeria’s deplorable prison system to catch armed robbers who in many cases might be their former colleagues.

These men have now apparently turned into licensed criminals; extorting, maiming and killing the future of young Nigerians just for looking good or owning a great device.

P.S; I’m really sorry if you didn’t have a good laugh like the title may have suggested, but there’s nothing funny about SARS BRUTALITY in Nigeria. 

Written by Adeyinka Taiwo


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